Tradition Lost in Generation?

Recalling back how I was awoken by the knock on my door. It was early. Those tired eyes slowly opening, the overcoming of that desire to get back to sleep, the strength to get myself up sitting on the bedside and the ever comforting stretch after standing. My mum was waking me up for our annual praying and offering to our ancestor. It was Winter solstice, obvious when we made a few dozen of rice pudding ball - or what we Chinese called - tang yuan - the night before.

Throughout the years, my mum had been up preparing as early as five in the morning; and a few days before. All in the name of tradition. I was always impressed at how one lady, could filled the offering table crowded with food of all sort: steamed chicken, juicy pork, fried fish, spring onion, raw vegetable, steamed cake, assortment of fruit and chinese kuih as well as rice, tea and rice wine. All for our respectful ancestor, who spirit will return home and had a feast during this festive season. This tradition of food offering had been passed on from generation to generation since obviously, a very long time ago. Hahaha.

I had since the age I was able to hold a lighter and light the joss stick up for prayers, I had been a part of this important tradition. Not that I know why am I doing it, I never been explained. I thought that was the best way - in action - to respect and honour our ancestor. After lighting up the joss stick, I will pray for all the gods and goddess asking for blessing and good health, then asking the same from my ancestor, plus inviting 'them' to return home for the feast and offerings we had prepared. Given I was the eldest grandson for my grandparents and the eldest son for my parents. The responsibility to uphold this tradition befall on my shoulders, not by choice, but by the sake of keeping the tradition alive. My mum will then toss one ornament to determine if my ancestor spirits were home. One head and one tails signified to agreement of what my mum asked for, whereas two of the same side, not agree. It was important to leave the front door open wide to let 'them' in. We then waited for 'them' to enjoy the feast, after the ornament signaled in agreement.

I am a believer in spirits of ancestors. I believe that they somehow affects our lives, in a good way, and they deserve respect. However, this belief would not even passed any form of scientific scrutiny. Since human had that need to know and understand everything, many arguments  about traditions and ceremony had been sparked off. The scholars presume that everything we do in life need to be understood and explained scientifically. Leaving us to question, why are we doing this? Or worst, giving us a reason to not do it. So long have the society want labeled everything either it was right or it was wrong, but not what we believed it was right or it was wrong.

Then it was time to burn offerings (paper models like cloths, shoe, money and more), which we believe will be received by our ancestor's spirit, that 'they' would lead a better afterlife. While we are throwing hell's note and paper clothing into the burning flame, my mum asked me. Son, would you still do this in the future? or would this would end in your generation? or perhaps your next generation? I joked by saying, this I got to ask my future wife if she would do it with me. We had a good laugh about that, and we finished off the offerings burning by pouring tea around the furnace in circle, so that 'they' will be able to claim it in the afterlife. My mum later tossed the ornament again to asked if 'they' are done with the feast. We only be able to clean the place up after a toss of agreement. After many attempt which resulted in disagreement, we got the signal that they were done. Good thing 'they' liked what we had prepared for them.

The truth is, I will do it in the future. Not because to allow the tradition or ceremony to continue, these were always be just an act. And action changes with progress of time, not necessarily improved, but changed according to one's lifestyle. Who know, joss stick would be replaced with indestructible glow stick in the future. What do not change was the love and respect we had for the passing, the joy of doing one thing together as a family, the calm and peace it brought and the belief that we are, in our own way, doing what we think was right.

During this festive season, I hope that we do have joy in all the things we do. That we never will complaint, whine or even escape from any form of tradition practiced. Do it for love, honour, respect and of cause, for  family.

Hereby wish all my readers, a very Happy Chinese New Year. May this Dragon New Year be filled with peace and joy.

Live well people
Shian